Blowback
by MrsCuddles
Summary: AU. Sometimes cover operations can have unintended consequences. Set somewhere between 3.04 and 3.08
1. Chapter 1

"Our cargo arrives at 02.40 military time. We have twenty minutes to get in, label the guns and get out without anyone knowing," Mike reiterated into the phone, locking the door to his hotel room. "It has to be a clean job. There's no time for mistakes," he added, finally ending the call, rubbing his neck.

"Easy-peasy, that's how it's done." A voice rang out in the darkness, startling him to the point he had to draw his gun out.

Switching the lights on, the lump in his throat almost made him cough: Paige was lying on the bed, dressed in short black lace, legs crossed, leaning back on her arms with her head tilted to the side and her bare foot rubbing sensually up one of her ankles. Her red lips looked so inviting that he almost forgot how to breathe.

"Jesus Christ, you scared me." Mike took a deep breath, uncocking his gun and placing it on the table. "How long have you been here?"

Flirty. Seductive. That was what the dress looked like on her, with its form-flattering, short cut, and the delicate lacework that crawled and burst and flowered across the stretchy black fabric. It was a dress that said, with a smile and a wink that the real her would always give out to him when they were together, _'I know what I want, and I know what you want, but you can't have it; you've gotta work for it._ ' God, how he hated she had to use that kind of power on Toros knowing she would never say that, she wouldn't even say that to the real him now, either...but tonight - tonight, with her dirty blonde waves temptingly ruffled, her eyes darkened with shadow and bold lines of kohl, her plump lips reddened and parted, just begging to be bruised with a false kiss... tonight, she would.

And he had no choice but surrender to her. It was inevitable.

"Long enough."

They were on the top floor of an elegant hotel in West Beverly Hills. The penthouse suite was wide and spacious, decorated with large windows that gave a nice and colorful view of the city.

"Undress," he boldly ordered her, having checked her out with ardent passion written in his eyes. His tone was still light, but so different that Paige wondered if he was just too much into his character or if he was actually serious. She had no clue what game he was playing. "Take off your clothes, all of 'em."

"Aw, you're no fun tonight," she murmured in response.

"I'm not taking any chances this time," he pointed out with a tiny sly smile.

"I don't recall you being this boring last time," she plaintively accused him, getting on her knees and raising an eyebrow at him, hoping he would catch the silent question beyond her body language. ' _What are you doing?_ '

But Paige didn't have time to think that Mike was already stepping closer, unbuttoning his jacket.

"Clothes off. Now."

* * *

 _Paige clicked her tongue to signal the exact moment when Mike 'fell' into her trap. She met Toros' eyes on the other side of the counter. The Armenian dealer nodded and walked away to join Ari and Briggs at the pool table. Mike promptly followed him with his eyes and she took that as an opportunity to squeeze his thigh, to show their mark was being handled and their plan was working. Toros was so angry and frustrated that all it took was that brief touch to send him over the edge: Paige wouldn't go home with him tonight. She would leave with the agent, and it was enough to tick him off._

 _Mike grabbed her wrist to stop her hand from going further, ignoring the tingling she left on his leg. He had to try and pretend not to want this, her, even if her scent was hypnotizing him._

 _"_ _Looks like you're quite the loner tonight, babe."_

 _She saw him stiffen and nervously shake his shoulders. For a moment his eyes were glazed over, like he was trapped in some sort of unfortunate thought or memory. But he forced himself to get rid of that sudden disturbance, flashing a not so convincing smile her way._

 _"Is that an offer?" He ended up asking._

 _"I don't know," she cautiously replied with an indecipherable look in her eyes._

 _Mike snorted, taking a sip out of his beer._

 _"Lighting the blue touch paper and standing back? Nice, nice."_

 _He hiked one foot up his stool, leaning slightly closer to her. Even if he had some long strands orchestrating his moves, Paige would still be able to brilliantly play her part to perfection, much better than he was._

 _"What do you think?" She flirted back, wetting her lips to sensually smile at him._

 _Mike took one more sip, hoping it would never end - Paige was all too good at this game._

 _"Gorgeous woman in a bar goes away with a stranger," he thoughtfully listed out. "I'm pretty sure I've heard this story before and it didn't end with a happily ever after."_

 _"Well, now that I think about it, you could be a werewolf."_

 _"_ _A werewolf? Really?"_

 _"_ _Uh-uh." Paige ran her fingers up his arms and to the back of his neck, toying with his much longer hair. Her other hand lightly traced his, before lacing their fingers together with a quick squeeze - her voice purposefully much more velvety than usual. "Big hands, long hair, bluest eyes I've ever seen. You keep to yourself, your skin is unusually hot. All signs are there."_

 _"_ _And you think I'd tell you if I were a wolf?"_

 _"Werewolf," she correct him with a smile before snatching his beer and downing what was left of it. "Mhmm probably not, but tell you what... I like playing with fire."_

 _"No shit." Giving her the once over, Mike decided to raise the stakes. He leaned close to her and lightly brushed his lips over the shell of her ear, his hot breath tickling her neck. "Are you here to kill me, sweetie?"_

 _Paige had to summon all her self-control not to drop her act. Her heart began pounding furiously in her chest, giving rhythm to the flow of boiling blood in her veins. A feeling in the back of her neck suggested she was in deep trouble, but the knot in her stomach revived her spirit of defiance._

 _"_ _That depends. Are you gonna eat me?" she teased him, setting his beer down. "I taste pretty good."_

 _"Mhm, you sound pretty confident about that." He commented, cryptically, his tone amused and seemingly carefree._

 _"You have no idea."_

 _They stared at each other for a long moment, weighing all the pros and cons at once if they decided to take it further. They both knew she was walking a thin line. The bar was small, Toros, Ari and Briggs were far from them, but close enough to hear – Toros could lose his temper in name of blind hatred anytime, she was more than aware of that, but she also trusted her skills - and Mike's. There was no doubt in her mind they would be able to neutralize him, if necessary._

 _"There's a motel nearby," he threw in, inching his fingers up her arm. "I was planning to spend the night there."_

 _"You were," she commented, as if she was ironically flushing out his deceit._

 _Something told her that the time of flattery was over, and their game of cat and mouse they had planned was about to begin._ _A game Paige was a master at, always making sure to earn the role of predator rather than that of the helpless prey._

 _"I was," he brazenly confirmed._

 _"Let's go, then," Without further hesitation, she hopped down from her stool, clutching her purse and a hint of pure fun lightening up her eyes._

 _A trembling smirk settled on her face, well aware that Mike's eyes were fixed on her swaying hips. Unfortunately, so were Toros'._

* * *

Puzzled by the sudden change, she maintained eye contact as she lowered the zipper on the side of her dress. Finding no problem in grabbing the edges of the black dress clinging to her curves, Paige got rid of it like a second skin, slowly dragging it down her body along with the hidden holster wrapped safely around her thigh. His eyes became deeper and darker when she lowered her strapless bra and slipped out of her corset, dropping her undergarments with the rest of her clothes. She saw him shift imperceptibly while the fabric of her black panties slid down her legs and joined the messy pile of black fabric pooling on the floor.

She violently bit her fleshy lower lip, painted in blazing red, when Mike reached out to lightly trail his fingers over her skin. Her eyes drifted closed under his tenderness. Suddenly this didn't feel like a forced deadly mission anymore, they were there. _Together_.

The sincere, passionate look in his eyes when she bared herself in front of him, his dark blond hair combed to perfection, his lips over hers, meeting in a delicate outpouring of hidden emotions.

Not wanting to think about him _that_ way, she opened her eyes and let him lean into her as she tentatively placed her hands on his leather jacket, pushing it off his shoulders.

Her mouth was suddenly claimed by his greedy one, as he let her hands quickly deprive him of his tight fitting shirt that clung nicely to his lean muscles.

"Why did you sleep with me?" Paige whispered in a weak voice.

There was a hint of embarrassment and mischief in Mike's eyes as he smiled at her, trying to stay in character.

"Why did _you_ sleep with me?"

He turned her words around, as she eagerly and yet slowly rediscovered his body, his abs rising and falling with each breath he took, his lips slightly parted to let out a sigh of appreciation when he felt her fingertips touching his skin.

"Because I wanted to kill you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi :) This story is a little bit strange and definitely darker/something I've never been comfortable with writing before. It's just a "test". Thanks to somewhereinthedreams and MaskedMan2 for testing it with me lol**

 **\- xo**

 **I'm so excited, sad and WORRIED for tonight's finale!**

* * *

Her heart was beating violently in her chest. Paige felt her cheeks flaming up and wondered how long it had been since she last felt her skin burning that way. Her knees buckled slightly, her eyes hiding her languid look.

Their mouths were pressing together like it was the most sensible thing to do, despite the iron taste of blood rushing over their tongues when Paige bit him. Suddenly she felt the all too familiar feeling of Mike's body reaction to hers pressing against her hip. Almost without a second thought, Paige let her lips move faster over his, framing his face with her hands and pulling him closer.

It was crazy how natural and ordinary Mike's touch felt. It felt right, incredibly normal. She forced him to recline his head back and sank her teeth into his neck. He groaned under her touch when her lips traveled down his throat and chest - his beard was scratching her flustered rosy cheeks, and she would have found it annoying if it didn't add that extra thrill that pushed her to press herself into him. His fingers were everywhere, feeling her face, stroking her neck, threading through her blonde curls and running along her bare back.

It was all so strange, so different and so intoxicating and enjoyable.

"Oh," she heard him mutter when her nails dug into the nape of his neck. "Paige, I-"

"Sh, shut up, Mike," she exhaled in response.

Their eyes met briefly when she took that moment of vulnerability as an opportunity to straddle him and get in control.

"We-"

"Shh."

Working her mouth slowly, she kissed him softly, tickling his chin and neck with wet kisses before making her way down. When she reached the hem of his boxers, Mike's hand fisted her hair to get her attention.

"There's a full moon out tonight."

Taken aback, Paige slowly pulled away and brushed her hair back, looking down at him. That was a sign, she could read it in his eyes. A sign that maybe they should keep on pretending, instead of giving into the pressure the awareness of the three men listening in was putting on them.

That was what she would have done if she didn't find herself flat on her back again with Mike's hot breath blowing over the soft flesh of her inner thigh. The burning heat of his mouth and his tongue made her stiffen, disrupting the order of her careful thoughts. Her nails dug into her palms as she tried to keep control of her body, but that hint of pain increased the excitement that started building up in her lower stomach with each swipe of his tongue.

It had been far too long since she'd felt this good. So long that she started desperately craving for any kind of human contact to the point of accepting that absurd proposal Briggs was passing off as a valid plan.

* * *

 _Briggs looked at the eerily silent team and sighed. They were all tired and shaken by what happened to Colby, but they were trying not to resent him anymore. Until now._

 _"He'll work with Paige, he won't be alone. As long as we stick to the plan-"_

 _On balance, they were all healed, some more than others, but it was still difficult to fake normality after what happened to their colleague._

 _"What plan? Have them fuck like two animals in a cage to keep your cover?" Jakes frowned. He stood there in silence, his arms folded, and listened to their roommate talking until he couldn't stand it anymore. "You call that a plan?"_

 _"Toros and Ari want information. I'd rather have Paige seducing him than those two torturing him to death!"_

 _The blonde DEA agent bit her lip, hugging her arms to her chest._

 _Briggs did everything on his own without filling her in - after blowing his cover and selling himself as a CI, the man ratted Mike out as the agent in charge of the Sarkissian operation. Ari's first suggestion was to kidnap him and gift him with a slow, painful death but Paul thought quick on his feet and convinced him that the_ blonde broad from Clear Line _could work with them to seduce the agent, earn his trust and steal the information they needed to destroy the investigation._

 _"He just survived one attempted murder, you want him dead for real this time?" Charlie stood up, protectively raising her voice._

 _Mike ran his hands over his face, staring off into space._

 _Toros wasn't happy with the idea and refused to share_ his _woman with a cop, but they eventually reached a compromise: Paige would be allowed to sleep with the agent only if they listened in, just to be sure she didn't jump over to the wrong side. It was obvious it was all an act to possibly give Toros a reason to punish her for later on._

 _"'Course not, Chuck. But there's no other way. Unless you want one of us to blow our cover, uh? They would kill us right away. If we do this- "_

 _"They'll kill Mike" Johnny interjected, fixing his eyes into Briggs'._

 _"It's not your decision to make, Johnny." Raising his hand to stop him, Paul turned to Mike. "It's your call."_

 _Mike's eyes immediately sought Paige's, who struggled to hold his gaze. After the events of Sylmar, they had finally managed to find a balance and Paige seemed to tolerate him more than he had initially expected._

 _Now there he was, wondering whether it was okay or inappropriate to create such a cover after having shared so many emotions. The calm in Paige's eyes reassured him and he nodded, falling back against the couch. He bit his lips for a moment, lost in his thoughts._

 _"I'm in."_

* * *

Desire burned in her chest and a lustful sigh escaped her lips, as she mumbled some colorful words of appreciation in Russian. When Mike's body heat went missing, Paige grabbed him firmly by the shoulders and pressed herself into him. She didn't care if due to the impetus of the moment she bit him a little too harshly and tasted his bloody split skin again.

After all, _Paige Razinski liked it rough_.

A groan erupted from Mike's throat when Paige's crimson nails slowly scratched his side, tracing a small path of red lines down to the hem of his boxers. She eagerly slid them down his muscular thighs. Mike shuddered, trying to mask his fluster by gripping the sheets beneath him. He forced himself to observe and focus on her instead of the way his heart missed a beat when their eyes met.

Paige's blonde hair trickled down his chest as her lips kissed with extreme sensuality every inch of skin. Focusing on his abs, she slowly traced each curve of his muscles with her tongue before moving down his lower stomach and cutting off his breath.

Her movements were so hot and painfully slow that it almost hurt. Watching him through her long lashes, she sent him a mischievous look. Kneeling on the bed, Paige climbed up his body and straddled him, as he raked his eyes up her body.

Mike made a mental note to thank Briggs for messing with the bug hidden behind the mirror above the bed, because unlike the previous times, this night was _real_.


	3. Chapter 3

A breathy gasp vanished in the roar of a new lightning tearing the night dark and moonless sky apart.

Paige's body moved slowly and fascinatingly over him, her hair swaying past one shoulder with every movement she made, falling over her overheated face. All Mike needed to do was reach up and brush it back to see her smile and kiss his thumb when he cupped her cheek. He loved watching her over him, her features and curves were so well defined, her face was so painfully beautiful.

Mike watched her move over him with ravenous eyes, her green ones shut tight and her lips parted as she struggled to keep her pace when he sat up and dropped hot kisses all over her sweaty skin.

Mike strangely seemed to have no problem with the whole thing, despite knowing that Briggs and the Sarkissian's were listening in. He wanted Toros to know that it was him touching Paige. His name was falling from her lips. And Toros would never get the chance.

This, oddly enough, excited him even more.

Even now, with passion throbbing in his veins, Paige's honor and his love for her came before any sexual impulse he had, whether they were faking it or not.

* * *

 _"You got a name?" Mike recited their scripted conversation with a smug smirk on his face. He'd decided to change tactics and give into jealousy that kept goading him. Somehow, he wanted Toros to hear and see how their relationship was more real than what they had, even though_ Mike Warren _and_ Paige Razinski _'had just met'._

 _Paige fiddled with the zipper of her dress a few times, clicked her heels on the ground, slammed a drawer and let the water run for a while in the bathroom, just to give the impression of being busy fixing herself up._

 _"Of course I do."_

 _"And?" He teased, lying on the bed to carefully avoid any sort of contact._

 _"Are you going to tell me yours?"_

 _"Sorry but I have no idea of who you are," Mike fired back, without missing a beat. The sound of her fake merry laugh accompanied her silent provocation._

 _"Clearly, that didn't stop you."_

 _"Maybe you're just shy," he commented, throwing fuel on the fire and tilting his head to look at her. "Mike. Mike Warren."_

 _"Or maybe I'm smarter than letting a stranger know all about me."_

 _"As befits a member of the Armenian Mafia?"_

 _Paige gasped, pretending to be shocked, and Mike almost laughed at the expression on her face, her hands grasping her chest._

 _"I know who you are. Paige Razinski, you work at Clear Line. And you're embroiled with the Sarkissian's." Mike couldn't suppress the disgust that seeped through his voice and for a moment he swore he saw a slight smile covering Paige's lips. "Why'd you pick me? Do I have to expect your friends busting in to kill me any time now?"_

 _"No." She said, resolutely. "I hooked up with you 'cause I felt lonely, I wanted to fuck and you struck my fancy. And, I wanted to get away from reality for a little while."_

 _Unconsciously, those last words were the truest of the evening. For both._

* * *

Mike raised his hand to lightly touch her cheekbone, noticing how a lovely shade of pink colored her skin and a slight tremor caused her lips to tremble with each of his thrusts. His thumb followed the line of her nose, brushed against her lips and finally landed on her chin, as his eyes focused on her bruised mouth, her red lipstick smudged from their kisses.

"I'm always on top, Mike..." Paige whispered with something close to a groan, biting his lip and firmly sucking the tortured skin afterwards. "Never forget that."

To prove her point, she bucked her hips until she was back to straddling him. His name rolled easily off her lips.

Keeping up the act would be useless now, and just as useless would be worrying about the two criminals and their roommate listening in next door. Mostly because, thanks to Briggs' genius – and repulsion – they wouldn't hear much until it was all over.

Paige watched him, wanted him, craved him, and the circumstances were serving him to her on a silver plate.

Mike didn't care that her nails dug painfully in his skin when he reversed their positions again, feeling more and more passion exploding with force in his body.

Paige's eyes burned with anger and lust. Being subdued by a man was something she was never okay with, and she would never be, but getting lost in his clear blue gaze made her falter for a moment and she caved in.

Her breathy voice moaning his name rang in his head over and over again. Paige said his name with such lust and eroticism, her perfect and soft breasts pressed against his chest, while her legs tightened around him and her voice cracked by the increasingly violent gasps of pleasure.

Throwing her head back, she reached her peak beneath him with a strangled groan, her hips shaking and her knees loosening their grip around his waist. Mike slumped down next to her, exhausted by the violent orgasm that stunned him and darkened his mind.

The headboard collided against the wall one last time and Paige's sweaty hand slid against the glass of the mirror, smearing it.

It was like a signal. Trying not to get noticed, Briggs fixed the audio, glad that he hadn't had to listen to his roommates' fake orgasms again.

"I can't wait to blow this sumbitch's brains out." Toros cursed under his breath, slamming his hand against the wall when Paige gasps rang out into the room again, this time without buzzing sounds of interference that made it impossible to figure out what was happening or what they were saying.

Paige managed to calmly come down from her high before looking back at Mike.

They were both breathing heavily, their hot sighs broken by the vigorous beating of their hearts that felt like violently throbbing in their temples.


	4. Chapter 4

"Thank you..." Mike whispered, his voice still filled with pleasure, forcing the woman at his side to completely wake up from her haze.

Remembering why they were there and how they ended up making love with an audience of three people, Paige laughed, trying to keep their cover intact before Mike let something wrong slip out of his lips and messed everything up.

"Oh no, thank _you_ , Agent Warren." Paige whispered back, placing a gentle and deadly kiss on his slightly parted lips. She caught his hand in hers when he began caressing some blonde locks stuck to her sweaty forehead, keeping him from getting too close. Now, with a clear head, she could see this was part of their job and nothing more. It had to be. And so they went back to pretending. "But don't get used to it, I doubt your boss would approve. And mine wouldn't be so happy to know I'm screwing a cop either." Paige reasoned, giving him one last smile before separating from him and lying down on her side, showing her back to him in a clear sign of detachment and embarrassment.

As she moved, her eyes stared into the mirror, catching her disheveled state and the still burning marks of Mike's passage on her body. Smirking, a feeling of satisfaction filled her, as if she could almost see Toros in the other room, tightening his jaw and keeping his finger on the trigger.

Mike didn't answer right away, he didn't even dare to touch her again. He simply lifted the blanket tangled around their legs and covered her, as if those animals were really watching them through the mirror. But the urge of kissing her sweet skin was too strong for him to handle, so he leaned slightly forward, leaving a small but dangerous kiss on the DEA agent's shoulder.

"It would totally be worth it."

It was impossible to hide the shiver that gesture sent through her limbs, and Mike couldn't help but smile, laying back on the mattress, not wanting to miss even a single memory of that night – he was still savoring the sweet taste of her on his tongue, as the last bits of pleasure flowed through his body.

"Mhm, really?"

Those rumpled sheets showed how dangerously close they were to be comfortable with their weaknesses. Even if they were _Mike Warren_ and _Paige Razinski_ now, an agent and a criminal, they shared so many other nights like this before.

"God, this wasn't in my plans... I wasn't supposed to fall for you. Paige, let's go away," His voice was hoarse, his fingers touching her bare back slowly. "Let's run away from here."

For a moment Paige thought he was talking to _her_ \- about _them_ \- not Paige Razinski, who was supposed to seduce him in order to get information for the Armenians.

"If it were that simple, I'd pack all my shit in a heartbeat."

That could also be related to her private life. Nothing ever really depended on her. She was a broken doll right now, struggling to find the missing pieces of herself.

"If everything goes smoothly, we'll close the case tomorrow night. We'll take two birds with one stone." Mike laid his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes, and Paige hugged the pillow, aware of the roles they were playing again. "The Mexicans and the Armenians – can you believe it? This will boost my career."

"And it'll end mine," Paige murmured, freeing herself from his grasp. She sat up, wrapping the sheets around her. "I'll be there too. I work at Clear Line, I'm the manager and I'm the one who works for the Sarkissian's. Do you really think they'll let me go?"

Mike shook his head, squeezing her shoulders. Their understanding eyes were silent witnesses of the great chemistry they had on the job. "No, no. That won't happen, you have my word. "

"Really?" Laughing, Paige pushed him away. "So you won't arrest me? You won't destroy the Armenian mob?"

"Yes, of course I will. But it's not what you think."

Mike stroked her cheek, then brushed his thumb over her lip. The signal: if they failed to convince the two Armenians, they would all be dead. Paige was about to swallow, but Mike's firm grip kept her anchored to the moment. There was nobody else but them - fuck Briggs, Ari and Toros in the other room – all she could focus on were his eyes.

"The FBI wants the Armenians, not you. I'll take care of everything. Once this is all over, I'll go back to DC and you'll come with me. We can begin again."

"You know we can't, Mike. I'm in it now and... there's no way out."

Mike shook his head again.

"I'm your way out."

Paradoxically, those words reminded her that there were a lot of choices in the world - and she had had her fair share of wrong choices, no matter how the prospect of having betrayed him burned like acid on her skin.

"There's no future for people like me."

"There's a future for _us_." He hugged her close, kissing the top of her head. "Tomorrow, thanks to you, we'll nail Martun Sarkissian, Tevan Adamian and their people. It'll all be over, I promise."

"I think it'll be harder than that. It'll be hell and there's a high chance we might be burned alive. Ari is smart, he can kill us both. I'm surprised Toros hasn't found out yet. I mean, about us..."

Her stomach clenched uncomfortably, but a feeling very similar to euphoria took a hold of her. She wasn't worried, nor angry... she was excited. Shocked, too, as if she had just realized this could really be the end of everything: Paige wanted to throw Toros in jail for the rest of his life more than anything else in the world.

"Listen. Since Colby's death, the FBI has been monitoring everything and I mean, _everything_. There'll be twice the agents and twice the weapons we originally planned... but everything will happen within in a thunderbolt. We'll make it, trust me."

"And you? Do you trust me?"

Paige irrationally tried to resist, to isolate herself from her feelings, to take possession of her body. Now that she could no longer focus on her pleasure, there was nothing else to think about but Mike's devotion that was showing through his glistening eyes.

Maybe - just maybe - they were no longer following a scripted conversation and every word had acquired a hidden meaning, just for the two of them.

"I do, even if I'm not supposed to."


	5. Chapter 5

The sand was still wet from the night before and suddenly he wasn't running anymore. He got up earlier than usual that morning, unable to sleep more than two hours, and at 5:30 he was out for a run. When Graceland came into view, he slowed down to a stop.

She was there, in front of him, sitting on the rocks with the faint moonlight shadowing her face - his heart still pounding fast with fear of finding her lifeless once they reached the house.

The russet roses formed splashes of bold, vibrant color against the muted white and charcoal of the gown's floral pattern, and the slit in the side edged its sensuous way up her leg, revealing a tempting glimpse of well-toned calf and thigh muscles and golden, summer-smooth skin. The neckline scooped low in front, high in back, with a large, open hole cut out over her shoulders, flattering her slender form, and the simple gold chain about her throat gleamed like frozen sunlight in the midday air.

Sitting there, probably still unaware of his presence, Paige gazed longly at the landscape. She found it hard to reconcile all that peace with the chaos she was used to: it hadn't even been a full night since Toros died because of her and - as far as she wanted to pretend otherwise - her body had yet to fully recover from the shock.

The confusion that mounted in her chest for the past few months could find no counterpoint in that atmosphere of timeless peace: the malaise she had tried to ignore threatened to explode once and for all... and Mike's proximity didn't make it any easier. Not after what they had shared. So she moved away, completely shutting down and avoiding him, doing anything in her power not to stay in the same room as him for more than five minutes.

Mike stared at her profile while she was still engrossed in some kind of thoughts. The sand crunching under his feet, he walked over and slowly sat down next to her, without looking away.

His stomach tightened. The agitation clogged up his throat. The mad urge to punch everyone and everything, to run and scream, resurfaced all of a sudden.

Paige was leaning back on her arms, her eyes fixed on the horizon and her slightly bent legs slipping through the fabric of her dress. A small gust of wind blew over her face, ruffling her hair, and Mike would have found that vision almost heavenly, if her face hadn't been marked by fatigue. Surely, she had spent the whole night outside. However, he didn't fail to give her an encouraging smile when she became aware of his presence.

"I didn't hear you going out," Paige greeted him after a few minutes of silence, still staring intently at the dreary blue ocean.

Mike's eyes lingered on her flushed face, the soft light of dawn giving a pearly sparkle to her amber skin.

"I didn't want to be heard. I was hoping you'd still be asleep," he added in a quiet accusation.

He saw her shrug and silence enveloped them as the morning light reached them, sitting side by side. But her eyes kept escaping from his and he didn't know whether she wanted to simply avoid him or if she was afraid he would read through her. Because they both knew that one look would be enough to understand all about each other and he knew how much that frightened her.

It was hard not to see the pain in her eyes and Mike definitely wasn't immune to it. He knew that her inner torments were wearing her out, and somehow, for some reason, he was suffering with her.

She looked at him, recognizing the concern in his eyes, and smiled, a mixture of resignation and pain. "I'm okay."

Perhaps this was enough to help her. Maybe it was enough, maybe it wasn't. Maybe he should have just let go.

"Talk to me..." Mike prompted her, softening his tone. "How are you?"

He wanted to know how she was, what she was thinking, if there was any chance this might have damaged her for good.

"I'm... _fine_." Paige blurted out, digging her toes into the sand.

Mike turned his face away from her as tears threatened to fall. What happened the night before was Briggs' fault, yet he couldn't help but feel responsible for her state of despair. He was a hypocrite – he claimed to want to protect her, love her, but he wasn't there when she needed him. Paige wouldn't hold it against him, she didn't want to be protected, but there was a thin line between fighting her battles and giving her the certainty that if she collapsed, they would be there to catch her. And they weren't.

That line had been crossed and somehow they ended up fighting side by side in a crusade they didn't want to take part into, trying to stick together through thick and thin - they were fighting together, or so he thought.

Mike was always afraid to talk about them as an ' _us'_ , perhaps because of his chronic insecurity that led him to think about all the negative scenarios that could occur, or maybe because they no longer felt the same way about each other. Then again, maybe she didn't want to fight or have him ready to support her, or maybe he was just being delusional.

There were words that were left hanging in the air, waiting to be spoken but that would forever stay unexhaled breath.

Mike didn't know if there was anything else as important as Paige was to him in his life. All she ever did was saving him – she constantly helped him out of those holes he kept falling into, she was the root to cling to so he could crawl out. And _that night_ , lost in mixed feelings, he didn't feel lonely like he had for the past couple months, but complete. _Alive_.

Her eyes flicked briefly to peek at him, but before she could avoid meeting his stare, Mike tenderly grabbed her wrist and tugged slightly. Paige froze, knowing full well he would force her to look into his eyes and she couldn't bear holding his stubborn gaze right now. What happened with Toros the night before turned her into an emotional wreck.

Shifting closer to her, Mike soothingly run his thumb over the back of her hand until she sighed heavily and got rid of his grip.

"It's like being puppets." Paige whispered out of the blue, her eyes staring off into space, empty and unfocused. "You get it, don't you?"

Mike nodded, because he knew where she was going with her speech, even if every word pierced his heart. He damned Toros, wherever the hell he was right now - Paige should have never had to face such a deadly experience under his watch, ever. Then he damned himself, for letting it happen.

"It's... it's like being nobody. You're slipping into this dark abyss, and your body… it just won't respond. Your mind gives in and blanks out. You don't know who you are... there's no time to ask. You are an empty body and nothing else." Sighing, Paige brought her knees to her chest and tried to keep up that hard rind that threatened to slip away every time she was with Mike. "All it takes is one second and you... you're gone. Just gone."

That flat, brittle voice didn't belong to her. It felt… disembodied. Like it was all in his head and there was nobody there with him. Temporarily drifting away with his mind, Mike tried to recall the exact moment when he and Paige had last been happy together - he would do and give everything in his power to go back to at least one of those carefree moments with her, if he could.

"You know," The FBI agent jumped at the first chance he had to change the subject when he realized that she wouldn't say anything else. "Winter in New York is pretty heavy. Ever since I was little, since as far as I can remember, I always spent hours collecting firewood. With my grandpa, my uncle… Then I grew up and they taught me how to chop it. Well, every once in a while, something… _happened_. Sometimes I would just, wake up in the middle of the night having really bad _nightmares_. No matter how late it was, I couldn't fall back asleep. And so I hid there, in the woods, trying to hide from something I knew I could defeat but that I was refusing to. Next thing I know, it's morning and we have a wooden stock that would last for winters to come. Yet every time, every night _it_ happened, I would go out and chop more lumber until my palms bled."

 _Mike tugged at his coat to keep himself warm. Axe-murdering pieces of frozen wood was a great way to pour out all his frustration, blow off all the heat that was clouding his brains: the logs exploded in splinters in rapid succession, falling down on the ground with dull thuds._

 _The midday sun reached its peak into the sky and shone brightly above the backyard that separated the house from the forest. It highlighted the bruise on Mike's face and those angry drops of sweat that tried to cling to his forehead, but that would inevitably roll along the side of his face and down his chin._

 _The more his cheek swelled and turned purple, the more sore his black eye got. And blow after blow, his rhythm would intensify and reach an insane speed. Fast, dry, violent._

"What was all that wood for? Just to make a fire?" Paige distractedly asked, too focused on collecting a small patch of sand with one foot and observing how it would flatten under the other one.

"No." Mike quietly mimicked her position and stared beyond the ocean. "To protect my mother."

 _The calm and faint voice coming from the porch drew him like a bee to honey. His dark blue eyes met his mother's clear ones as she stood there, wrapped in a woolen blanket. Seventeen-year-old Mike stared at her for a long moment, gripping the axe until his knuckles turned white. And then, finally, he lowered it to the ground – his arms and shoulders bent from all that senseless fatigue, his unspoken words suspended in the space between them._

Her neck almost snapped when Paige turned her head to let her eyes wander over him – she didn't speak to anybody, so it was very unlikely that Mike did it on purpose, but those words... they reminded her of the day before, when Toros was still alive and breathing, when she had yet to become an executioner.

"I would smash those logs in pieces, hit as hard as I could. I don't know, it made me feel like it'd help me defeat my demons one at a time."

Paige tenaciously held his strong look of determination, reflecting his hidden pain with her own.

"You should let me try one day." She managed to breathe out, squeezing his hand.

Mike let out a low sigh, perhaps a weak half-laugh, and then shook his head, as if to get rid of some annoying thought that bothered him.

"We don't have woods in our backyard."

"I know."

While Paige closed her eyes and put her thoughts on hold, she tried to erase the memory of Mike's body wrapped around hers that flashed through her mind when their hands touched. The smell of his skin came back to haunt her and she pictured the blade of the axe sinking into the wood.

"It was a bad idea."

Mike heard her mutter under her breath, probably more to herself than him.

"What?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

Even though he knew she was right, he stopped himself from showing the slightest indulgence, and kept subtly pushing her to open up to him.

"Why?"

"You know that too," Paige shifted on the rocks, almost struggling to form any sensible words.

"How? You're not even speaking to me anymore."

"It's not-"

"Is this about what happened before the arm deal?" He blindly challenged her, fishing for answers Paige wasn't sure she was willing to give.

Because the memory of his mouth, his hands palming her breasts, her hips, the warmth of his body and his arms wrapped around her, the sound of his voice hoarse and desperate ringing in her ears... those things were so fresh in her mind and, despite her initial thoughts, she couldn't handle them right now.

"If you think it was a mistake just say the word and we'll forget it ever happened…"

"I don't want to forget," she spoke in a clear voice, looking at him with urgency, a sheepish look in her eyes.

"If it's because I… Look, I didn't plan it, okay? I just, got carried away." Taking a sharp, deep breath, Mike let his words roll off his tongue slowly, to make sure she understood each one of them. "And I let it drop 'cause I was giving you space, you know that-"

"I know. Just like you know I would have never done anything I didn't want to..."

The confession made her stiffen, but her eyes never left Mike's. She mentally damned herself: it was clear she'd wanted that night to happen – both of them had wanted it to happen - whether she admitted it or not. After all, this was Mike she was dealing with, not a nameless stranger.

"But it was a bad idea," he repeated her words after a long moment of silence.

"You know that I... God, I suck at this, Mike."

Paige gritted her teeth when she saw his furrowing expression. His increasing proximity was making it hard for her to talk about it.

"What do you mean?"

"I suck at this. _This_." Paige frantically pointed between them. "...I always end up screwing things up."

Holding back a heavy sigh, she leaned back to re-establish the distance between them.

"There's nothing to screw up. You don't owe me anything, Paige. It was a moment of weakness, it was all for our cover. I understand. We, _I_ was living too much into the moment... I won't hold it against you if that's what you're afraid of."

"I owe you a lot, Mike."

"And I want none of it."

It looked like Paige was about to answer, but ended up closing her mouth and merely nodding, accompanying the gesture with a faint smile.

Mike reached up, stroking her face to force her chin up, finally returning her gaze. He saw her swallow hard and focus on his face. Then she blinked once, twice, three times, just to make sure she was awake and not a prisoner of yet another nightmare. He sat there looking at her, anchoring himself to her until Paige saw his pain melt in a half smile before she started moving away from his touch, the fear that he had tried to hide was still written all over his face.

"I know."

What was left of them was one of those love stories that needed to settle along the way. Layer by layer, it made its way inside of them without them knowing. But even when everything stopped, Mike felt that it wasn't all there - that there was still something somewhere that would eventually lay slowly over the rest. He knew he would have never let her go and he couldn't find a good reason to be sorry for that.

"Paige...?"

All was said and done, there was nothing else to do, and she was just trying to do her best to preserve the memory of those past experiences together as a warning, an appeal, a tender secret they once shared together. Of course, things were still kind of messy and it could lead them to make some mistakes along the way – relapse into each other's warmth – but that didn't mean they couldn't do it. That didn't mean Paige couldn't save Mike from herself, this time.

Turning around, she watched him hesitate for a few seconds before he spoke again.

"Why did you come here? Out of all the places… why here, why _the rocks_?"

But their love story – that was one way to remember that locking something away to keep herself from feeling wouldn't be enough. Because denying what she was feeling right now as she stared back into his eyes, wouldn't be enough to stop her from feeling it. Whatever it was. "I wanted to see you."

Her brain struggled to look for a convincing lie, but she eventually surrendered to the truth: she was too tired to deflect and deceive.

With one last faint smile, she went back inside, leaving Mike out there mulling over what just happened.


	6. Chapter 6

**Epilogue**

It wasn't even a sigh. Less than a breath of wind. Mike dragged himself up to rest his back against the headboard when he noticed a shadow that lingered in his room. He squinted his eyes, trying to see through the darkness.

"Paige, hey. Is everything alright? "

A heavier, shaky breath came from the other side of the room and Paige took a step closer to the bed.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just - I, I'm not sure what I... can I sleep here?"

Yet, he believed it. The date on the calendar said it had been months. Not a day or a weekend. Not a couple of hours. _Months_. But now Paige was there, in his room, with nothing but a shirt and a pair of gym shorts covering her – her blonde hair pulled back in a small bun.

And Mike felt the distance between them flowing with his blood, like something physical – an inch at a time.

All it took was a nod and she was sneaking into his bed. Mike wanted to wrap his arm around her, keeping her close to him, holding her tight, letting her rest her head in the crook between his neck and shoulder, hearing her sigh contentedly against his skin. Because there was a time when she'd liked to feel their bodies fit perfectly together.

Instead, he looked down and they both lay side by side on the bed, so that their bodies could heat up without touching.

" _I miss you_."

Paige sighed softly, without even noticing, before she fell deep into her slumber. Mike rolled over, carefully watching her face to make sure the gloomy shadow she'd sported all this time was finally gone.

 _'It won't be forever._ ' He meant to say, before falling asleep himself, stroking her cheek.

Instead, he kept his mouth shut and did nothing - Mike watched over her sleep with love, carefully avoiding getting too close, he didn't want to scare her away. He couldn't make promises that would never come true. There were too many promises he broke, and with them, their hearts.


End file.
